Cow Jokes and Philosophies


Life is purple cheese is good

If you have a purple cow dance a blue baboon

Cows are to cheese as printers are to paper cuts

Three glasses of milk a day give you the gratitude of the dairy institute

What does a cow do on Saturday nights?   Eats grass, duh!

A cow walks into a bar.   Ouch!

A cow walks into a bar and orders water and a salad.  The bartender, who isn’t a cowist because he thinks cows are stupid (booooooo!), thinks, “well I’ll be able to charge the cow at least three times as much because its just a stupid cow.” (boooooooo!)  So the cow finishes the water and salad and pays the bill.  So the bartender says, conversationally, “so we don’t get many cows around here.” And the cow says, “yeah and the only other one you’re going to get is my lawyer with these prices!”

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Interupting cow! Interupting C-Moooooooooo!

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Knock knock! Who’s there? Knock knock! Knock Knock who?  Cow pranksters randomly knocking on your door!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Milk! Milk who? Knock knock! Who’s there? Milk! Milk who? Knock knock! Who’s there? Milk! Milk who? Knock knock! Who’s there!? Butter! Butter who? It’s the milk man I've been standing knocking on your door so long that the milk’s turned to butter!

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